Today is complicated and has been surprisingly difficult for me. With the novelty of my first Mother's Day celebration in the past, I am reminded how difficult this day was for me for so many years. This year, my heart knows so much joy, yet it continues to groan and ache.
I am grateful for the miraculous gift of motherhood, yet my heart aches for the many women who are longing and waiting for this gift.
I am grateful for God choosing Judah to be my son, yet my heart aches for the many children of the world who have no one to call mommy.
I am grateful for an amazing mother who has always been my biggest cheerleader and greatest comforter, yet my heart aches because I long to see her more than a few times per year and I want to squeeze her tightly today.
I am grateful for a mother-in-law who loves me like her own, yet my heart aches because miles separate us too, and I know how difficult it is for all of her boys and grandchildren to live so far away.
I am grateful for two beautiful "grand" mothers who were such an integral part of my childhood, yet my heart aches because both no longer walk this earth and I miss them so.
I am grateful for the ultimate sacrifice and love of Judah's birth mother, yet my heart aches with her heartache and what must be overwhelming grief and emptiness.
I am grateful for precious mommy-friends who inspire me daily and a husband who encourages me to be the best mom I can be, yet my heart aches for mommies with little support and who struggle to make ends meet.
It's all gratitude, however, that I have a God who carries me through the complications and turns my sorrow into joy.
I'll leave you with a quote from one of my favorite resources for women who long to be mothers...
[As Hebrews 11 demonstrates)], "God never promises that He will reward the faithful with an easy road through life.... what God promises us is that He will eventually, either in this life or the life to come, turn our adversity into our profit."
This post was straight from my own heart. It is SO complicated. I feel so torn about what to feel. I'm grateful for my sweet boy who made me a mom but I hurt for all those facing infertility, the children without moms and the birth mothers. There is so much hurt. Thankful for Grace. Happy Mother's Day!
ReplyDeleteI was feeling the same way today. Remembering the pain I felt in the past but rejoicing with my two little blessings now. But hurting for those still waiting and also for the courageous birth mothers that gave their babies up. I went to Lifelines "Birth Mothers Day" luncheon yesterday and it was both uplifting and very sad to hear some of their stories. What a reminder of our broken world....but Praise God that He has chosen to redeem some of the mess we face on earth...and it will ALL be redeemed in Heaven (like your quote mentions). Thanks for sharing(:
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