Keepin' it Real

I often struggle with what I want this blog to be. What began in 2009 as an attempt to let everyone know our progress throughout our adoption journey has obviously turned into sporadic updates and pictures of our ever-growing Judah. Since I'm not great at organizing our digital pictures and even worse at printing them, I suppose this blog will suffice as our life documentation/electronic memory album for now. However, there is so much more I'd like for it to be...recipe sharing, craft generating, decor/design dreaming, fashion fantasizing...YES! But more importantly, a resource for those suffering through infertility/loss, a platform for orphan care and adoption, daily musings about the comedy of life,  political rants, racial diversity education, and ultimately a venue for sharing my struggles and journaling about life's toughest moments. There are a myriad of reasons as to why this blog is none of the above, but today I would like to highlight a tough moment....

It is 16 degrees and dark outside. Judah has awoken very early, before I even get the chance to open my eyes in my warm bed from a night of too little sleep. Because my child has no concept of independent play, he pretty much spends the next few hours wandering around our 1-bedroom condo (it's amazing how much he can wander in a space this tiny). I give him activities, I set timers, and I intermittently play with him. I play music, and I even turn on the Disney Channel for 30 minutes~until he yet again is wandering and expending his very short attention span for a brief moment with a toy before moving on to wandering again. Three hours later, I am still suffering from a headache I myself awoke with and praying I will eventually find the energy to face the day. It is not even 9am. Judah is beginning to whine incessantly (I'm sure because he is getting tired since he's been awake for several hours now). At this point, we must get ready to attend church...something we do every Wednesday morning. With each transition (potty break, breakfast, quiet play, getting dressed, etc.), I give him several warnings with plenty of advanced notice. Each transition is still a struggle, complete with running from me, physically fighting me, and exclamations of how he doesn't want to do whatever I'm asking of him. It is still 16 degrees outside. But the sun is now shining at least, and we need to take our dog out to potty herself before we leave for church. We spend several minutes bundling up with several layers and I tell Judah he can choose a toy to take with us or ride his scooter out. Moments of whining and negotiation pass and he chooses neither, leaving the house empty handed. He is not crying when I lock the door, so I have a glimmer of hope that this short outside trip will be okay and he may even help with the dog. We ride down the elevator and walk out the front door of our condo building. The cold air hits me like a freight train and at that moment I know our poor dog is only going to get a brief chance to pee. It is at that moment, also, that I realize that glimmer of hope I had was just that...a glimmer. Judah immediately bursts into angry tears, shouting that he wants to ride his scooter. Really? He had multiple chances to decide this about 10 minutes and 20 layers ago. With a dog in one hand, and trying to hold my child's hand in the other, Judah quickly escapes in our condo's driveway (very near the street), plants on the ground far away from me, screams, then refuses to come inside after our dog has done her business. Trying not to let the dog escape as well, I try to physically drag my screaming child inside the building. After I make it back inside our condo, he has beyond lost it but it is now time to leave again for church. I strap him tightly in a stroller just so I can get him back outside and into our car safely. He screams pretty much the entire way until we reach our destination, almost falling asleep when we arrive. I soon realize that I've forgotten everything I need for church, but at least we've arrived safely in one piece. And we've gotten out of the house~ a necessity after hours of struggle there. I honestly cannot wait to take Judah to his class and get a much needed emotional and physical break.
**Disclaimer~Just like many of you with kiddos transitioning from toddlers to "big kids," we are going through lots of changes these days~ potty training, no more paci, big boy bed, etc....hence Judah's proposed source of exhaustion. And if you are wondering if Judah received any sort of discipline throughout any of this scenario, the answer is YES. In fact, I'm pretty sure I spend the majority of  my days disciplining my almost-three-year-old...hence my own exhaustion. **

Does any of this sound familiar to you? For your sake, I truly hope not. But if so, know that I deeply empathize with you. I love Judah more than anything in the world and I know he is a good, sweet kid. I am honored to be his mother, and I know that so many of his traits that I find so difficult now will serve him well one day. But there are so many difficult moments these days, and I'm hoping they will pass soon. As I'm driving home from church, I'm brainstorming all the strategies in my repertoire as mom and school psychologist....reward charts, transition boards, etc. Still feeling the stress of motherhood and weight of guilt upon my shoulders, this is the first thing I read in my inbox as Judah finally crashes (literally) into his nap...

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you." 2 Thessalonians 3:16 ...

Throughout the Bible we're shown how to celebrate and enjoy life, despite stressful situations. How to find joy, despite circumstances. How to overcome stress, despite constant balancing acts. How to not only survive the storms of life, but stay afloat in the midst of them. From Genesis to Revelation, we can discover infinite suggestions for biblical stress relief.

2 Thessalonians 3:16 encourages us that Jesus Himself provided a solution to stress. Peace is only available in and through Him.

Stress is not a sign of the times; it's a sign of living. Always has been, and always will be. Our stressors may be different today than when Jesus walked the earth, but the overwhelming power stress holds over our hearts is the same.

Dear Lord, I am drowning in stress and I have tried everything to relieve it — except for You. Forgive me not trusting You enough to believe that You offer the peace I am searching for. Today, I invite You into my circumstances, and into my life, and ask You to open my eyes to see the real truth and stress relief that my heart is aching for. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

~Taken from Proverbs 31 Ministries devotion, Tracie Miles

Thank you, Lord, for this sweet reminder. Thank you, Lord, for making me a mother....even amidst these difficult moments, for I know they are refining me and drawing me closer to you. Thank you, Lord, that I do not have to rely on my own efforts but that You provide me with the source of your endless strength. Grant me wisdom, patience, and grace as I face each day responsible for this precious gift you have bestowed upon me. Amen.

Melkam Gena!

I'm writing this post illumined by our Christmas tree lights, all while holding a glass of hot cocoa. I do realize it's weeks after Christmas but it's only a few days after Christmas in Ethiopia. January 7th is the magical celebration of Christ's birth in Judah's homeland, so we will always celebrate it in our household as well. We've begun some new traditions around the holiday (in addition to keeping our decorations up at least through the 7th :-), such as eating Ethiopian food and giving one gift to Judah on the 7th.

This year we celebrated with our dear friends, the Schicks, at our favorite Ethiopian restaurant. The food was delicious, the company was great (we were joined by Gabriel's and Judah's grandparents!), and the boys behaved beautifully (unlike last time we visited this particular restaurant :) Unfortunately, I don't have many pics to document this, but here are a few.

Jeff and his mom enjoying what's left of the delicious food

Gabriel and Judah playing cars under the chair. Again, we were asked if they are twins :)

Christmas in Ethiopia is not necessarily a time of gift-giving (something I secretly envy, as opposed to our extremely commercialized American Christmas). If children get gifts at all, it is usually one small item of clothing. We'd like to keep this tradition in our house and this year it was great because we'd recently lost one of Judah's favorite winter hats. So I thought his Ganna gift would be a perfect time to replace it, especially since I found it on clearance! We explained over and over beforehand (as best you can to a 2 year-old) that it was Christmas in Ethiopia and that he would get one gift which would be something to wear. Before opening the gift, Judah seemed to "get" it (again, as best a 2 year-old can) and we even played a guessing game about what the clothing item would be. What came next was definitely unexpected....a huge crying fit~okay MELTDOWN~after he opened the gift. By the way, the hat was a different color than the one we lost so he wouldn't just think I wrapped something he already had :) I'd like to think that the tears came due to it being night-time and the fact that he was ready for bed or the fact that what was in the bag was not something he had guessed such as a shirt or pants. But the truth is, I think he a) thought all gifts should be TOYS and b) wanted more than one gift.

I'm sure it was unrealistic of me to think that my 2 year-old would understand that it was Christmas in another country and that meant getting a hat :-/  Hmmm...maybe I should have waited a couple of years before beginning this tradition? He finally stopped crying and we were able to tell him that there are children in Ethiopia and all over the world who do not have hats to keep their heads warm...not trying to make him feel badly for crying but simply leading to a discussion about appreciating gifts. He seemed to take it in and has since worn the hat with pride.

We worked very hard this year to not let Santa and commercialism overshadow Jesus and his birthday. We only gave Judah three gifts but that doesn't include gifts from everyone else and we didn't really think of the function of the gifts. There is clearly still work to do, and before we move on to hearts and candy I'd just like to document something we'd like to try for next year's Christmas gifts... something you want, something you need, something to wear (which will come on Jan. 7th) and something to read....and one more....something to give....as in to another family or child in need. I've seen this concept on several different blogs and love it.

So, Merry Christmas (Melkam Gena)~again~everyone! Here's wishing you Jesus as your best gift of 2013 and forever :)

Auld Lang Syne

We trust that you had a blast ringing in the new year! Or at least an early blast, if you spent your night hanging out with your young kiddos like us :-) Judah, of course, wanted to spend the celebration with his two leading ladies, Sasha and Marilyn. Notice how they smile so lovely for the camera.

Unlike this one, who is still sporting the "silly face" taught to him by his older cousins.

First agenda item for the night was making our own food....pizza! Judah was excited to get rollin' :-)

He had to officially become "Chef Judah" before he got his hands dirty, though!

We were actually really surprised at how well they did, with very minimal mess.

While the pizzas were in the oven, they discussed the Fiscal Cliff while enjoying savory apps.

Judah reassured everyone that Congress would pull through...

Next it was time to enjoy their creations. Someone didn't eat very much, though, thanks to lots of laughter an discussion.

Finally, time for the countdown to ring in the new year! Toddlers don't know the difference between 8pm and 12am, right?!

These sure didn't!

Happy 2013 to you and yours! Gotta run....now time to prepare for Ethiopia's Christmas (which is tomorrow). Celebrating that with more friends tonight.

Christmas in the Capital

Since returning from Bama, we've had tons of Christmas fun in DC, too! Beginning with grocery shopping for a Christmas dinner for a family in need. We'll have to make this a tradition because the conversations we had with Judah about how the Lord rejoices when we give to others in need were priceless...not to mention he loved the shopping!

Actually, he's becoming quite the little helper. Here's a pic of him just this week from a Whole Foods outing.

And Christmas morning did not disappoint in our little condo with our little family. Jeff and I awoke early, anticipating our little man's excitement.

And excited he was!

We were then in disbelief that he agreed to eat breakfast first and WAIT to open his gifts. Maybe it's because breakfast consisted of PANCAKES...in the form of RUDOLPH!

As you can see, he thought this was hilarious :-)

And finally, it's present time! Little stinker knew what this was simply by the shape of the box. From the looks of Allie's face, it seems that she knew what it was too...another musical instrument to annoy her.

It's a GUITAR! or "tar" as Judah affectionately calls it. He's been wanting one forever.

Later, Jeff tried to explain to Judah the function of the "pitch pipe." Judah loved the noise and then began to pull a Willie Nelson....

Shortly following, he ditched the guitar all together and made a harmonica or sorts out of the pitch pipe.

After some gift opening, it was finally time to see what Santa brought. I'm amazed that this was our last activity on Christmas morning. I have a feeling this won't be the case in years to come. Judah asked for two things from Santa...goggles (he's dreaming of summertime and the pool) and a cowboy outfit. And Santa did not disappoint...

Santa even brought some goggles to Mommy ;)

And although not the best of his performances, I did manage to capture one of my little cowboy's debut songs.

We spent Christmas evening with his best bud's (Gabriel's) family. We are incredibly blessed by friends here who treat us like family. When far away from your biological families, it's so wonderful to be surrounded by dear friends. We had a lovely time but I hardly took any pics due to the boys literally running around all night.

I did manage to get a pretty cute video of the family dance party, however.

During the holidays, we also visited the National Botanic Gardens. If you are ever in the area, you should definitely make this one of your tour destinations.

***Side note~Judah has an uncanny ability to know his way around our city. Often when I think he's not paying attention in the car, he tells me that we're near his school, church, or other famous parts of DC. On the way to the Botanic Gardens, he knew without us saying anything that we were near the National Mall and other landmarks. He then genuinely asks us if we could go to visit Obama at the White House, almost immediately preceding us passing the White House. When we replied, "Maybe another day," he seemed quite disappointed that we had not been invited to Christmas with the Obama's :-)***

Anyways, the gardens are beautiful, with plenty of indoor exhibits. As you can see, during the holiday season it is exceptionally beautiful with Christmas tress and poinsettias....

The best, however, was the miniature DC monuments made of bark, sticks, acorns and other natural elements. I was mesmerized with how pretty and intricate they were.

And so was Judah...

There was a magical, whimsical, fairy-like train exhibit for the kiddos (well, and the adults :-), too....again, all made from natural elements.

Well, that's all for now folks...

Stay tuned to see how we rang in the New Year!