A Surprise Miracle

mir-a-cle: a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural laws and is considered to be divine; a highly improbable and extraordinary event.

I've said it before and I'll say it again~Judah's adoption was a miracle. It was the Lord who placed an unknown baby from Africa in our hearts in 2008. And only our Lord could have orchestrated the events that made it possible for Judah to join our family two long years later. I still marvel at how a tiny orphaned baby in Northern Ethiopia came to be our forever son.

Jeff and I find ourselves marveling yet again at the handy work of our Lord. For a little girl will join our family in just four short months. A daughter, growing inside my womb...a biological child whom we've grieved for many years and a life that modern medicine said was impossible. Tears fall as I type because I continue to be overwhelmed by this blessing...an unexpected blessing made possible with only the help of our great God.

There are moments when I want to shout this news from the mountaintops to everyone I know, proclaiming another miracle by His hand. There are other moments, however, when I feel so undeserving of this gift that I am driven to my knees in gratitude and I'm made keenly aware of His mercy, grace, and love.

I haven't spoken much about this subject on this blog, but many of you know that Jeff and I traveled down a very long road of infertility for many years. During these years, we lost three babies and were burdened by unknown conditions and unanswered questions. Throughout the years, the heartache hurt the most. A heart broken into a million pieces....how could it ever be repaired? Friends, Jesus repaired my heart long before we miraculously conceived....and before Judah was placed in our arms.  The healing process was extensive, but I believe the driving force was surrender and trust.  Complete surrender...to His plans, not our own. Complete trust...that His way is perfect, not our own.

It's because of our history that the sharing of this news is laced with sensitivity. Perhaps this is why I've waited longer than most would expect to share this news on our blog...a blog with readers who have or are currently experiencing the trials of infertility and miscarriage. I honestly never wanted to fulfill the "I told you so" scenario or the "Everyone gets pregnant after they adopt" or even "God is gracious to those who are faithful." I'd like to say that I'm always faithful, but the truth is I fail Him daily. I could never view this new gift as a result of my faithfulness. It's nothing I've done, but ALL the work of our Savior.

In complete disclosure, Jeff and I were interviewing adoption agencies at the time we conceived. And I always thought that all of our children would be adopted. In fact, the desire to become pregnant was  removed from my heart in recent years. I also have fears about raising adoptive children with biological children. Can we do it? Will the world treat them the same? Will there ever be ill-will among our children? Natural fears, I suppose, but fears none the less.

When my mind wanders down this path, I'm reminded of the Author behind these great miracles. You know, the One who calms the storm, erases all fears, and has scripted our perfect plan. When I meditate upon these truths, it is then that my heart experiences complete freedom and overwhelming gratitude.

Fitting for Valentine's Day, I suppose. My heart is full.