Operation Nursery, Part 1

When Jeff and I moved to North Carolina, we had big dreams...of a big family...so we bought a big home....that could eventually house a family of 4--plus our beloved dog, Allie. Our home doesn't really look that big from the outside and in fact, some may consider it small. However, it has 3 bedrooms and a bonus room. Four years later, we have each other and our beloved dog, Allie. This disproportion over the years has led to this kind of room....yikes!


Now I'm assuming that those reading this have had some sort of "junk room" in their lives at one point (or else we totally look like slobs right now!). Hoping my assumption is correct, you understand how one of our "extra" rooms ended up this way.

When we began the adoption process, one of the first things we had to complete was our "home study." Included in this series of interviews was a tour/inspection of our home. So we spent hours cleaning up our "junk room" and the result was a little better.


This is how the room has looked for the past year. I must admit that the door stays closed, and we seldom venture in. The wait for Baby E is already difficult enough, and sitting in an empty nursery doesn't make the time pass time any quicker. I've been itching to "set up shop," so to speak, for many many months (okay, years really). And FINALLY, last week, the preparations began! We had so much fun beginning the nursery and were blessed to have Gramma and Pop help us out!

 Paint Room...check!

Assemble Furniture...check!

Select beautiful fabrics....check!

Begin making crib bedding and window treatments...check!

(Yes, Baby E's Gramma is making his/her bedding...sewn with so much love :-)


Completed nursery....to be continued....

And for the record, we still have big dreams....of a big family...our timing was just a little off :-)

Space Mountain

Well, our agency wasn't kidding when they said "expect the unexpected." You see, the process of international adoption is much like a roller coaster ride. For us so far, that roller coaster ride hasn't been so bad in all honesty. Sure, we've experienced a myriad of emotions, and the wait times have varied somewhat...but in keeping with the Disney themes that I sometimes like to reference, I'd say the ride has been a bit like Thunder Mountain...exhilarating, but not scary-- just enough to keep us on our toes. That is, until we received an email last Wednesday. That's when the Thunder catapulted into Space. Yep, we were suddenly an unwilling guest on what felt like Space Mountain...completely in the dark, hitting an unexpected turn at much greater speeds.
As of April 9th, the Ethiopian government is requiring all adoptive parents to travel to Africa twice. This will add about $5,000 to an already expensive travel bill, not to mention cause potential problems for our time off from work.
Prior to this decision, a representative from our adoption agency (our Power of Attorney) was able to represent us on our court date (i.e., the day the Ethiopian government deems our baby legally a Nix). Now, the government is requiring both adoptive parents to be present the day of court. We are told the first trip will last approximately 5 days. During this trip, we will get to meet and spend time with our baby, only to leave him/her to fly home less than 5 days later. (Honestly, I have not brought myself to fully think about this moment when I have to leave my baby behind...I think I am still in denial). The second trip could happen about 3-6 weeks later, at which point our Embassy interview will take place and we will stay in Ethiopia approximately 7 days.
Upon hearing this news, we were initially shocked, then angry, then confused, then sad, then frightened...I think you get the point. However, after several days of thinking and praying, we have an overwhelming peace and are trying to focus on the positive: we will get to see our baby earlier, possibly an entire 2 months earlier than we would have otherwise! It will be so incredible to love on our baby that much sooner, while experiencing more time in Africa--soaking in his/her culture.
And on a broader note, we believe this is happening so Ethiopian adoptions will become more transparent. As a result of greed and corrupt adoption agencies (thankfully, not ours!), we have heard that some families are being referred a baby, only to find a different baby when they arrive in Ethiopia several months later. Also, there are some reports of babies being illegitimately up for adoption. In other words, children who are not truly orphans being "recruited" and taken from their families to be adopted. Thus, several policies are changing in response to safeguard the process--traveling twice being one of them. If these policy changes can save just one child from instances such as this, then I'm all for it.
We ask that you pray for all of the orphans in this country, and that these policies will be implemented with efficacy as well as efficiency. Please pray for our Gladney in-country staff as well as the Ethiopian government. We have utmost confidence in our agency and appreciate their transparency and assistance thus far. We are truly blessed to have such a reputable agency who has the children at their best interest.
As for us, we will be okay. I have a feeling after this ride is over, my reflections will be much like my thoughts each time I've stepped out of my rocket-shaped vehicle at Space Mountain ...a little scary, a thrilling experience, and well worth the wait.

6 months!

The good news is that today marks 6 months since we've been on the wait list for a referral! The not-so-good news is that we're still waiting. Adoptive parents have told us that the first 6 months on the wait list tend to pass quickly. Fortunately, this has been true for us. After the 6 month mark, however, we're told that the wait gets tough and there is a noticeable difference in how the time passes. Please pray that patience and peace will abound in the Nix household. We are getting really excited about meeting Baby E and hope that day comes sooner rather than later!

A Comprehensive Status Update

So many people have been asking about our status with the adoption lately, so I thought I'd give an update. For all you "Facebookers" out there, I must warn you that this status update may be quite a bit more in depth that what you may be accustomed to :-)

Well, the good news is that tomorrow marks 5 months since being placed on our agency's official wait list. What does this mean? (I hear you asking.) It means that we are getting closer and closer to that ever-so-important phone call (also known as the referral) to introduce us to our baby for the first time. Our agency's statistics indicate that most couples receive this phone call about 7 or 8 months after being placed on the wait list; our case workers encourage us to expect the later end of this time frame so we will be surprised rather than disappointed. We've taken heed to this advice and are expecting this phone call to occur possibly some time in May or June. However, it is is difficult to not get our hopes up when we hear news that nearby friends who are adopting through our agency received their referral one day shy of 6 months! So literally, this phone call could be any day now or as late as this summer. Recently I've been told, "It's like you're an expectant mother with an indefinite due date." That's exactly right, which makes the wait that much more difficult!

While we are truly excited and filled with joyful anticipation for the day we will see our sweet baby's face for the first time (through pictures in an email), we also are experiencing some not-so-exciting emotions while we wait. Jeff and I are so grateful for everyone's sincere curiosity, and we are thankful you are joyfully waiting with us. However, we also ask that you join us in prayer as we strive for peace and still hearts. Adoption is a beautiful gift, but it does not come without heartache. You see, the time line (and my intuition) tells me that our baby is more than likely born into this world already. Knowing this brings both happiness and sadness. The reasons for my happiness are obvious, but the feelings of sadness and worry are beginning to emerge more often than I'd like. Is our baby safe? Where is our baby sleeping tonight? Is he/she hungry, cold, scared? How is the birth mother holding up? Is she still alive? Who is caring for our baby? The reality is that our baby is (or will soon be) in a government-run orphanage. I've gained insight of what these orphanages are like by talking with others who have visited and reading accounts like this one describing one of the Ethiopian orphanages in 2007:

"...I was led into a nursery where the infants were kept. What immediately stood out was the lopsided ratio between children and workers. For every eight or nine infants, there was only one worker to meet their needs...In addition, I was somewhat taken back by the heavy smells of urine, sweat, and dried feces that stung my nose and eyes. Looking down at my feet, I saw a dirty cot with ten infants almost stacked on each other, all swaddled in mangy blankets, some sleeping, others screaming..." *

Tears fill my eyes as I write this, as I picture our sweet baby in these conditions. And my heart grows even heavier to know that there are millions of children all over the world living in these types of environments. But just like He has continued to do over the past several years while Jeff and I have prayed about expanding our family, God provides and the Holy Spirit speaks. I've recently been learning through an amazing study that the Holy Spirit speaks to us persistently, personally, peacefully, and verifiably through His word. So, God knows my heart has been heavy and He is witnessing my sleepless nights; and during my time with Him this week, these two verses were revealed to me. I do not think it was by chance. Do you?

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. " - John 14:27

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." - Psalms 27:13-14

Thank you, Lord, for speaking to me this week. I feel your peace. I am striving to remain strong. I am taking heart. And I am waiting for You.

*from the book, From Ashes to Africa by Josh and Amy Bottomly

All You Need is Love

This past December, Starbucks invited musicians from all over the world (including Ethiopia!) to sing together at the same time to raise awareness for AIDS in Africa. Be sure to watch this video if you want to smile :-)

Ye Ganna Baal

A common way to refer to the Christmas holiday in Ethiopia is "ye ganna baal." The word Ganna is used interchangeably with Christmas to mean the birth of Christ. While Christmas day has come and gone here in the United States~ in Ethiopia, it is this week! Ethiopia still follows the ancient Julian calendar~as it is one of the oldest countries in Africa. Thus, they celebrate Christmas on January 7th each year. Here are some fun facts about this Ethiopian holiday:

The day before Ganna, people fast all day. The morning of Ganna (at 4am!), everyone goes to mass dressed in white. Most Ethiopians wear a traditional shamma~ a thin, white cotton wrap with brightly colored stripes across the bottom. I read somewhere that "urban Ethiopians" sometimes dress in white Western garb (whatever that means?!).

Modern churches are built in three concentric circles. During the Ganna mass, the choir assembles in the outer circle, and the priest serves Holy Communion in the center circle~the holiest space in the church. Each person who enters the church receives a candle and walks around the church three times in a solemn procession. Then, everyone gathers in the second circle to stand throughout the long mass.

Around the time of Ganna, the men and boys play a game that is also called ganna. It is somewhat like hockey, played with a curved stick and a wooden ball. Ethiopian men play another sport called yeferas guks. They ride on horseback and throw ceremonial lances at each other (yikes!). According to tradition, shepherds celebrated when they heard of Jesus' birth by playing such a game.

The Christmas meal, which is served January 7th, is preceded by major preparations that include the purchase and slaughter of an animal (typically a goat or cow). Traditional Ethiopian foods such as wat (a thick spicy stew that is so yummy!) and injera (the flat, sourdough bread) are also enjoyed during Ganna.

Twelve days after Ganna, on January 19th, Ethiopians begin the three-day celebration called Timkat, which commemorates the baptism of Christ. The children walk to church services in a procession wearing crowns and robes. Adults wear shammas, and the priests wear red and white robes and carry fringed umbrellas.

Church officials, called dabtaras, diligently study to learn the musical chants, or melekets, for the Timkat ceremony. A long, T-shaped prayer stick called a makamiya taps out the walking and also serves as a support for the priest during the long church service.

There are no Christmas trees in a traditional Ethiopian Christmas. However, Christmas trees and other decor have begun to spring up in the capital city, Addis Ababa, around this time.

Ganna and Timkat are not occasions for giving gifts in Ethiopia. If a child receives any gift at all, it is usually a small piece of clothing. Religious observance, feasting, and games are the focus of the season.


I hope you were able to experience Christmas this way...observing the true meaning, "feasting" with your family and friends, and enjoying the fellowship. Jeff and I certainly had a fantastic holiday, engaging in all of those things....including games....not necessarily field hockey and dangerous lance-throwing on horseback (as done in Ethiopia)...the Wii and and my mom's favorite board game of "Clue" provided plenty of entertainment for our family. :-)

Hopefully, Baby E will be here by next Christmas when Jeff and I will continue our holiday into January as we observe Ganna. Like many of you, this is my absolute favorite time of year, so extending the celebration will not be difficult :-)

"Melkin Yelidat Beaal" (Merry Christmas), Baby E!!!

Joy to the World!

The JOY of the season has made me a bad, bad blogger (Can you use joy and bad in the same sentence?!). Anyways, I've been absent from the blogosphere because December has been a very eventful month. Let me show you what we've been up to...

Decorating!

We even decorated the tree twice :-) After the first decoration, it fell to the floor by way of my head :-( This is the finished product...the second time around.

Wrapping, wrapping, and more wrapping!

Turning the big 3-0!

My reaction when opening my birthday gift from Jeff...a Petunia Pickle Bottom bag to hold all of Baby E's things! (when he or she arrives :-)

Playing in the snow!


And most importantly, celebrating the Advent and Christ's birthday!

My thoughts of Advent this year are frequent and heartfelt. Thinking of Mary and the many emotions she must have experienced during the wait of the arrival of her Son, has yielded personal reflection and in turn, has given me strength. The circumstances surrounding Christ's birth~well, let's just say~ were less than perfect. Yet in the midst of worry, confusion, fatigue, and fear ~Mary and Joseph trusted, and their faith was truly amazing and inspirational. The miraculous Christmas story reminds me that the most wonderful blessings come from up above and are often the result of enduring hope and faith.

Not a day goes by when I don't think of Baby E,and often my heart aches with an indescribable longing to know and hold our baby that may~or may not be~born into this world yet. And on those days when I begin to feel worried about his/her well-being, sad for his/her birth family, or weary of the long wait until Baby E is in our arms~ I am reminded by the Holy Spirit to trust and hope. For Baby E is in God's hands~the Wonderful Counselor, Almighty God, Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace. And although the circumstances surrounding Baby's E birth may not be perfect, they were destined to happen this way and we will rejoice in His plan. So "Joy to the World!" From North Carolina to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia....let earth receive her King!